More on dealing with rejection.
Wrapping up the series on rejection, I hope to revisit it sometime in the future. This is partly due to the fact that we’ll be going on radio from this coming Saturday and will like to have the same message cut across all our platforms. As previously stated, we need to understand how rejection plays out so as to be able to tackle it and heal appropriately.
After the manipulation has failed and the rejector doesn’t budge, the reality of the rejection sets in. With this comes a flood of emotions including anger, shame and fear in no particular order. For Tamar, the pain and bitterness was overwhelming. She shared that the pain of the rejection was worse than the rape she suffered. Imagine how traumatic rape is – a violation of body, soul and spirit. Yet, she said that the pain of rejection was more than this. (2 Samuel 13:16).
It’s not really about what you have done or said that opens you up to rejection. If they wanted to accept you they would make allowances for all so – called shortcomings. They already made up their mind to reject you so some excuses are just what they have had to make up along the way. No one is perfect but they have decided not to deal with your own kind of imperfections. It’s a free world. They are free to reject you and it is your choice to overcome it or allow it damage your soul.
After venting out the anger and pain you feel, it is time to analyze the reasons you were given for the rejection. Some of the reasons given by the rejector may be valid, such as – “you are too clingy”, “ you expect too much from me”, “I can’t live up to your expectations” etc. The list is endless and you need to take a close look at these areas and ask God for help. Knowing that rejection is God’s redirection, this may come as an opportunity to confront character flaws. At other times, the person doing the rejecting may not give or have any reasons just like Amnon (2 Samuel 13:15-17). Still, there is always something God wants us to learn.
What rejection does is to chip away at your self – worth and self – value. A chunk of you is broken away and if you don’t look to God to heal and restore you it will affect future relationships. You will begin to approach new relationships with caution, unable to love or trust without abandon because there will always be that little voice whispering that you are not good enough.
You are good enough for a God who is more than enough. It is time to turn your face up to God.