HANDLING REJECTION’

Ephesians 1:6 – to the praise of His glory by which He has made us accepted in the Beloved. NKJV

No one likes to be rejected.

Every woman is designed with a natural desire to connect with others. It’s natural to want to belong, to feel a special bonding with others and to be unconditionally loved. We all need to be appreciated, rewarded. This is why a lot of us are addicted to the dopamine surge when we get likes on social media. 😄. It’s just the way we are wired. To be socially accepted or intertwined with others in a positive way is oxygen to our souls. A lot of our emotional well – being is derived from being accepted by others. Sadly things don’t always work out that way. We face a lot of rejection and even the most emotionally grounded of us has felt the brunt of it. No one likes to be rejected.

It can be painful whether justifiable or not

The first woman to be rejected was Eve. She moved from being bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh of her soul mate, Adam to “the woman you gave me” in the twinkling of an eye. Since then we have been trying to regain that position of unconditional love from that special other which doesn’t always prove successful . Even if we are successful romantically there are still many more areas for rejection. The Bible too is full of people who were rejected from Moses to our Lord Jesus Christ. Its not just in the romantic department that rejection looms. Some of our earliest memories are about friends not wanting to play with us, preferring others.

The university, visa application or promotion application are rejected and we take it as a personal rejection. We were voted out, sacked, made redundant, retired, jilted, excluded from the meeting and may feel really bad. We have all been there. We were not invited to the event, we were not included in the email trail all these are rejection. Whether it’s our person or some external factors the rejection is still as painful. Even when the rejection is justifiable for example when we actually do not meet up, the resulting feelings of anxiety, jealousy, loneliness, guilt and shame drain us emotionally. Rejection borne out of prejudice and injustice is still rejection and has the same effects.

Unconditional love, the remedy for rejection

The greatest rejection however is the one sin brought into world, and occurred from the garden of Eden when God drove Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden. Since then our sins would have permanently separated us from God if not for His grace and mercy. But for Lord Jesus Christ we would have remained in this permanent state of rejection but blessed be the God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ …to the praise of the glory of His grace by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.

Through the love for Christ and the price He paid on the cross we are reconciled to God . Ephesians 1:6 says , we are totally accepted in the Beloved. It is out of this reservoir of His absolute love we can draw from to cope with all the other rejection that life throws our way. His love is so deep that we can draw strength from it to overcome whatever rejection comes our way. No one says it will be easy but we can take that first step into the arms of a loving Father who designed us just for that. It’s when we run empty that rejection becomes so difficult to cope with.

If we are already part of God’s family then let’s stay connected to Him. He doesn’t promise us a hitch – free ride but He promises us He will always be with us and nothing not even rejection can separate us from His love.

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  • Abidemi kareem

    Thanks for this wonderful article. I want to add that childhood trauma usually brings the worst type of feelings of rejection, more difficult to shake off. A divorce or separation between parents, sexual or physical abuse are just a few examples that make children feel unwanted, rejected and vulnerable. Many adults carry baggage of the aforementioned issues as well as others from childhood. While I rejoice in the love of God that made us ‘accepted in the beloved’, I worry that many believers have not truly understood or believed that they have truly been accepted in Christ or the depth of the love of God for them. And so, despite being beloved children of God, they still manifest fruits of rejection, defeat, hopelessness, and fear. What can we do to make people believe Ephesians 1:6 as quoted above and truly begin to walk in the liberty it provides for the believers? Thanks Fatima

    Reply
    • The Designer Women Hub

      Thank you so much Fatima for reading the article and the nice thing you said about it. I also value your contribution. 👏🏾I completely agree with you that many of us carry a lot of baggage of unresolved painful emotions which is like a big wedge between God and us.

      What can we do? I believe it’s an individual walk. The first thing is to step out of our denial. Admit that we are struggling with these issues. Then ask for God for help. Go for Christain therapy, Counselling, attend a Celebrate Recovery meeting, talk things through with God, a friend, a confidant…It is not a quick fix, it’s a process and a lifestyle to maintain ….Its not a once and for all thing …as long as we are on this side there will always be struggles …and we just have to continue unpacking …

      I hope I have not sounded too preachy 😊as I am on this journey too…it’s not over till it’s over.

      You may read my book, Overcoming Painful Emotions : A Guide, available on Amazon, Laterna and a few other leading bookshops.

      Reply

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