How do I deal with rejection?
In earlier posts I have described how important it is for us to belong as women. We were formed from a rib taken out of man and Adam spoke the truth when he defined us (woman) as “bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh”. It was after the fall that he re-defined us (woman) as “the woman You gave me”. Since then our desire is to be joined to where we came from. This creates all kinds of relational problems as we seek to love and be loved in return. Rejection is one of such problem.
In exploring the direct effects of rejection. there’s hope that understanding the reactions that come about after rejection will help us overcome it. The appeasing stage usually comes after the initial shock of numbness identified in an earlier post. This is when you try to appeal to the good sense of the rejector. You cry, apologize and try to cling to the person rejecting. You believe that staying in that relationship is better than the rejection. You try to convince the rejector of your undying love, your value to him and how you are willing to stay if only they will accept you. You promise to change, to get better or do anything it takes. If direct appeal doesn’t work you may even try to use friends to make them stay.
In truth, “You are worth a lot more than this” as we’ll see in later posts. If you are not good enough for them, it’s their problem and not yours. You’ll find someone who appreciates you for who you are and will count themselves lucky to have you in their life. You don’t have to remain shattered like Tamar, who stayed that way the rest of her life. You are special and have so much value, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Walk away, lick your wounds and move on.
Most importantly, there’s a Lover who will neither leave you nor forsake you. His arms are wide open waiting for you to come home. He will wipe away your tears because He loves you with a perfected love. If only the pain of rejection will make you turn to Him and not away from Him. The tragedy is not the rejection but the fact that you don’t want to look into the eyes of Jesus Christ who loves you to bits from now until eternity. He is more than able to bind up your broken heart if only you will allow Him.